Spiral or Steady

Yesterday was a lot.

I received some news that shook me more than I expected. I won’t go into details, but it was enough to send my mind racing and my body into a familiar place of tension and discomfort. When things like that happen, I’ve learned that I have two choices: spiral, or steady myself. So I chose to steady. I stepped back. I slowed down. I reminded myself that I cannot control everything, but I can control how I respond in the moment. I made tea. I sat quietly. I let my breathing settle instead of feeding the panic. And I leaned into the small things that help my body feel safe again.

Living with chronic pain means that stress doesn’t just stay in my mind—it shows up physically. When my nerves flare, I have to be intentional about calming them.

So I returned to the tools that help me:

my TENS/EMS device to quiet the signals in my back
my vagus nerve stimulator, which helps my body shift out of stress mode
my red light lamp for warmth and comfort
Epsom salt soaks for my feet
supplements that support my system (magnesium, B vitamins, alpha lipoic acid, vitamin D)
elevation and ice when needed

Some of these things help more than others. Some help in ways I don’t fully understand. And some—like the detox foot pads I tried—don’t really do much at all, despite the claims. But I’m learning that this process isn’t about perfection. It’s about paying attention: noticing what helps, what doesn’t, and giving my body the time and space it needs to settle.

I purchased my TENS/EMS device after seeing a chiropractor for my degenerative disc disease and bilateral sciatica. This little device was inexpensive but has been an amazing muscle relaxer without resorting to prescription painkillers. I can’t use it directly on my feet because the sensation is too much for me, but on my lower back it still helps send signals to my brain that allow my body to relax and the pain to feel less intense.

The vagus nerve stimulator was also a budget purchase, but it has more benefits than I first realized. I bought it to calm my mind so I could sleep better. It turns out it also helps calm my entire nervous system, including the nerves in my feet, and may even help with digestion by stimulating the vagus nerve.

Right now, I have to eat very gently because I may or may not have gastroparesis. I can’t get in for testing until October. CRPS and fatty liver can both contribute to it. So this device helps calm my fight-or-flight response, improves my sleep, settles my nerves, and may even help my digestion. That’s a big win for me.

The red light therapy lamp came to me by accident. When I ordered the vagus nerve stimulator, I was sent the lamp instead. When I contacted the vendor, they told me to keep it and sent me my original order as well. I haven’t used it much yet, but I plan to start and track how I feel before and after using it—ten minutes, thirty minutes, and a few hours later.

These devices can be expensive and aren’t always accessible, and there are a lot of variables in choosing a good one. If it’s something you’re considering, it’s worth researching and discussing with your doctor.

As for supplements, everything I take is done with clinician guidance and monitoring. I don’t follow trends or add things on a whim—anything I use has been discussed and approved to make sure it’s safe and doesn’t interfere with my medications. I don’t add or remove anything without checking first.

If my doctors tell me, “No, that doesn’t work for you,” I listen and accept it. CRPS is still a new experience for all of us, so in some ways I feel like the guinea pig while we figure out what helps and what doesn’t. Thankfully, my doctors have been supportive of that process and appreciate that I’m trying to manage this without jumping straight to stronger prescription pain medications.

I’ll be honest—I’m not a fan of mind-altering medications, even though I technically qualify for them. That’s a personal preference. If I ever truly need them, I will listen to my doctors. But for now, I’m trying to manage things in ways that feel right for me.

This is something I will likely live with for the rest of my life, so I’m trying to think long-term. If I start on stronger medications too early, my body can build a tolerance to them over time, and they may become less effective—especially if my symptoms change or the pain increases. Because of that, I prefer to use other options first and keep those stronger medications available for when I truly need them.

This isn’t about avoiding care. It’s about pacing it, and working with my doctors to make sure I still have effective options later if things progress.

Everything I’m sharing here is simply what works for me, with guidance and approval from my care team. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach—just my experience, and what is helping me right now.

Yesterday reminded me that stress and fear will come. That’s part of life. But I don’t have to stay there. I can pause. I can breathe. I can care for myself in small, steady ways. And sometimes, that’s enough to get through the moment.

Today, I’m still here. A little tired, a little sore—but steady.

I don’t take myself too seriously. I’m human, imperfect, and figuring things out as I go, just like everyone else. I don’t pretend to be bigger or better than I am. But if I can make someone smile along the way, then that’s enough for me. Sometimes, someone just needs a good laugh—and I’ve got plenty to spare.

I don’t need pity. I need understanding. The pain is real, the limitations are real—but so am I. And sometimes, the best thing I can do is laugh, not because it isn’t hard, but because it helps me carry it.

Until next time, peace and be safe!