Showing Up for My Health

Today I had a health evaluation through my insurance.

Nothing dramatic. Just a nurse, a checklist, and a conversation about where I am right now. Blood pressure, weight, medications, meals… all the practical things.

I came prepared. Blood pressure cuff ready, current weight, medications and supplements laid out, and a general sense of what I’ve been doing lately. Not because I have everything figured out, but because I’m trying to take this seriously in a steady, manageable way.

We went over quite a bit—my medications and dosages, allergies, supplements, eating habits, exercise, recent weight loss, and the possibility of some digestive issues I’m still figuring out. We talked about my counseling, my PTSD, and the work I’ve been doing around self-reflection and learning how to redirect myself when my thoughts start heading in the wrong direction.

I told her something that feels important to me: I’m working toward self-mastery. Not control in a harsh way, but learning how to respond instead of react.

Even my dreams have started to change. They used to leave me feeling like a victim. Now, more often, I stand up for myself in them. I wake up feeling stronger instead of shaken. That’s new.

We also talked about how I manage pain and mobility. I’ve been focusing on core strengthening through Pilates and chair yoga because too much walking or standing still aggravates my feet. I still walk as much as I can, but I’m learning where my limits are and working within them instead of against them.

I’ve made some practical changes too. I use a stool at the stove so I can cook and wash dishes without pushing myself too far. We replaced the tub with a walk-in shower that has a built-in bench and grab bars. I have a cane, walkers, and a wheelchair available if I need them. I can still bathe, dress, cook, and drive myself to appointments.

It’s not about doing everything the hard way. It’s about making things work.

She asked about falls. I haven’t had any, thankfully, but I have had some close calls. We figured out part of that was fluid in my ears affecting my balance, and that’s been taken care of. Between that and the changes we’ve made at home, things feel a lot more stable now.

We also talked about my mental health in a very real way. I clarified that my medication is for PTSD, not general anxiety. I don’t live in a constant state of anxiety, but I do have occasional panic episodes tied to triggers. The difference now is that they’re becoming controlled panics. They don’t take over the way they used to, and they’re happening less often.

That feels like progress.

I also made sure she knew I have a good support system. I’m not doing this alone.

At the end of it, she told me she was really happy with what I’m doing—for both my mental and physical health.

I’m not sharing this because I have answers. I’m sharing it because I’m showing up.

If there’s anything to take from this, it’s not that you should do what I’m doing. We’re all different, and what works for me might not work for someone else. But it might be worth having the conversation—with your doctor, your care team, or whoever is helping you navigate your health.

And if nothing else, I hope this shows you that you’re not the only one trying to figure it out.

It’s not glamorous work. It’s often slow. Sometimes frustrating. But it’s still worth showing up for yourself, even in small ways.

Until next time,
peace and be safe.